Zorua Reviews- Season Two
by Matthais Unidostres
Summary: Zorua is back to review more Pokemon movies, shows, and shorts in the comedic style of Chester A. Bum from thatguywiththeglasses.
1. Diancie and the Cocoon of Destruction

_And now it's time for_ _ **Zorua Reviews**_ _with Zorua- son of Zoroark._

 _Tonight's Review: **M17-** **Diancie and the Cocoon of Destruction**_

* * *

 ** _(First Person POV)_**

OH MY GOSH! This is the _greatest_ movie I've ever seen in my life!

Oblivion- _SPOILERS!_

There's this place, called the Diamond Domain.

And it's ruled by the Legendary Pokemon Diancie,

Who looks like a cat hung upside down with her head in a sugar crystal growing jar.

And her Carbink servants are like,

"You need to make a new Heart Diamond or the whole kingdom will die!"

And she's like,

"Oh, silly, you're exaggerating. It's not big deal."

 _Zorua scratched his head in confusion._

What a loser!

Why is she in charge of the place if she can't even take the lives of her people seriously?

So Diancie tries to make another Heart Diamond but can't do it.

So the Carbink's are like,

"We need to ask Xerneas for help."

So Diancie goes looking for Xerneas,

But then gets caught by a sillier looking version of Team Rocket!

Delphox Woman and Greninja Man!

But then Ash is like,

"Let her go!"

But they're like,

"You can defeat us, we got a Delphox and Greninja that we've been training for years to be super duper powerful-"

"Thunderbolt."

ZAP.

KO.

"What the hey!?"

So Ash and his friends have dinner with Diancie.

And Serena is like,

"You act like a princess."

And Diancie is like,

"I am."

"Oh, no wonder you're useless and needed to be saved."

"HEY!"

 _I_ met a princess once!

Twilight Sparkle is _way_ better than Diancie.

Although Ryu Taylor may disagree.

And the real Team Rocket are like,

"Let's catch Diancie!"

Yeah, yeah, whatever, you guys stink.

Meanwhile there's this little girl and her dad who are watching Diancie.

And her dad is like,

"I like chocolate."

And that's all the character he has.

So Diancie is looking for Xerneas's Fairy Aura.

And Ash and Diancie wish on a shooting star!

"Whoa, this is _soooo_ Disney!"

So everyone goes-

 _ON A BOAT!_

And Diancie makes a diamond for Bonnie.

And Diancie is like,

"Oh, it'll disappear soon, it's not like it's gonna play a major role in the movie's climax or anything."

Then they got to a mall!

 _I_ went to a mall once!

I got sick from eating all the free samples in the food court.

Then the Carbink servants show up,

And Diancie . . . lets Ash and his friends attack them . . . ?

Worst. Princess. EVER!

But then Delphox Woman shows up and they fight and fight and fight!

And then Greninja Man shows up and they fight and fight and fight!

And then Chocolate Man and her daughter show up and they fight and fight and fight!

And the Carbink are like,

"We were busting our non-existent rears looking for Xerneas while you ran away!"

Wait a minute, _she ran away?!_

She wasn't even looking for Xerneas at all?!

They'd be better off with a president!

So they all go to the Diamond Domain which is all dying and falling apart because the Heart Diamond died.

And Diancie is like,

"Oh my gosh, I'm shocked even though I was told earlier this would happen!"

So Diancie starts crying because she's the worst princess ever.

But Ash is like,

"Stop crying and fix it!"

In a _nicer,_ Ash-type way, of course.

Then they finally find Xerneas who gives Diancie a power boost!

Hooray!

But then _ALLLLLLLL_ of the bad guys,

including,

 _Zorua took a deep breath_

Delphox Woman, Greninja Man, Chocolate Man, Chocolate Man's daughter, and Team Rocket,

 _Zorua took another deep breath_

ATTACK ALL AT ONCE.

And this awakens the _evil_ Yveltal from his Cocoon of Destruction.

And Yveltal is like,

"Well, as the very first truly evil Pokemon, I suppose I had best start killing stuff indiscriminately."

"OBLIVION WING!"

 _Zorua jumps around making lazer noises and explosion sounds._

"LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET IS-!"

 _BOOM!_

"I love you Delphox Woman!"

"I love you too, Greninja Ma-!"

 _BOOM!_

"You may be the worst Princess ever, but as your Carbink servants we are honor bound to protec-"

 _BOOM!_

You know, technically no one is really _dying,_ they're really just being turned to stone.

 _Zorua turned very serious. completely breaking character._

Believe me. _I've_ seen near death once. . .

. . . .

So anyway, Diancie is like,

"I'm not gonna let my new friends die!"

And Ash and Pikachu are like,

"It's basically the same thing all the other Legendary Pokemon we befriend in these movies go through."

So Diancie uses the diamond she gave to Bonnie as a Mega Stone and Mega Evolves!

And then she creates a Heart Diamond to protect Ash and the gang!

Then Chocolate Man is like,

"To the Chocolate Plane!"

 _"Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, CHOCOLATE MAN!"_

So Chocolate Man and Millis the Girl Wonder fly their ship at Yveltal.

And then, they shoot missiles at him!

Huh, I wonder why no one ever thought to use missiles in the dozens of other times Legendary Pokemon have gone on rampages?

But Yveltal is like,

"That tickled."

 _KABOOM!_ And he blows up the plane!

So Diancie is like,

"You know, I'll bet everyone is waiting for me to step up as a true princess and fight Yveltal using my Mega Evolved form, but I'm just a useless princess that makes Princess Celestia look useful, so I'll just let Xerneas clean up my mess for me. I mean, come on, I'm a princess! That's what we do! Why do you think we have servants or six Magical MacGuffin wielding civilians for?!"

So then we have a big epic battle!

 _Zorua frowned._

Oh wait, no, it's not an epic battle.

Xerneas just shoots a few lazers at Yveltal and he flies away.

Rip off.

So everything is okay because the only ones who got turned to stone were villains, villain's Pokemon, and a couple of servants.

But then Pikachu starts turning to stone!

So Ash is like,

"Line from _Pokemon: The First Movie_."

And Pikachu is like,

"(Line from _Pokemon: The First Movie_.)"

And then they're both like,

"A little bit of new material."

"(A little bit of new material.)"

"Unbelievably lame retread."

"(Unbelievably lame retread.)"

"Incredibly not clever slap in the face to the fans."

"Incredibly not clever slap in the face to the fans, old friend. _Bleh . . ."_

 _Zorua reared up on his hindlegs and shouted loud._

AWKWARD SIMILARITIES!

I don't know why everyone is so broken up, all they have to do is have their Pokemon cry on him and he'll be as good as new.

Oh right, Mewtwo's memory erasing powers.

But it's okay, because Xerneas brings everyone back to life and then turns into a tree because . . .

 _Zorua shrugged._

That's what he was when Team Flare found him in _Pokemon X!_

So Diancie goes back to ruling over the Diamond Domain,

And Chocolate Man opens up a chocolate shop while Delphox Woman and Greninja Man open up a clothing store . . .

 _Zorua looks really confused._

So . . . is the moral of the story that if you live your whole life as a criminal and cause a disaster that could potentially kill millions of people and Pokemon you can make for it and avoid going to jail by making your own small business?

What a lousy moral!

So the movie was really good. . . except when they just put in _Pokemon: The First Movie_ again. . .

And left out the epic Legendary Pokemon battles we were hoping for. . .

The Pokemon fans are going to _kill you_ Kunihiko Yuyama.

But don't worry, just have some Pokemon cry on you and you'll be fine!

This is Zorua here, and I was wondering. . .do ya got any Poke Diamonds?! PLEASE! I really need Poke Diamonds! Come on, help a cute little Zorua out, huh? Come on, please!

Come on, how else am I gonna be able to do _anything_ in _Pokemon Rumble World_?! I can't beat the Protect Diancie Mission, so how else am I supposed to get Poke Diamonds!?

* * *

 _Thank You_

 _(Zoroark here. I REALLY didn't like Diancie. If they at least had her put up a decent fight against Yveltal, I might be inclined to cut her some slack, but she really was a huge Mary Sue. AND WHY THE HECK DIDN'T THOSE CRIMINALS GO TO JAIL?! **('Z')** )_

* * *

 _._

 _._

 _._

 _Loading code . . ._

0100101101100101011011000110010001100101011011110010000001110100011010000110010100100000010000110111001001101001011101000110100101100011001000000101001101100101011000010111001101101111011011100010000001000110011011110111010101110010

 _decoding . . ._

 _. . ._

 _COMPLETE:_

*Tinyurl - **objbqa9** *


	2. Pokemon Heroes

_And now it's time for_ _ **Zorua Reviews**_ _with Zorua- son of Zoroark._

 _Tonight's Review: **M05- Pokemon Heroes**_

* * *

 ** _(First Person POV)_**

OH MY GOSH! This is the _greatest_ movie I've ever seen in my life!

No time to question my- _SPOILERS!_

There's this place, called Alto-Mare.

And alllll the streets are filled with water!

Why?

Because a Latios came an drowned a Kabutops and an Aerodactyl to death.

 _Zorua looked up in thought._

That's kind of dark, isn't it.

But they were _evil_ Pokemon, so that makes it okay.

Wait, what if it was just their _trainer_ that was evil?

Well anyway, Latios ends up sacrificing his life and turns into a gem because. . .

 _Zorua shrugged._

That's why they do when they die.

So Latios his children Latios and Latias behind.

And then we skip alllll the way to the present where two ladies from Team Rocket want to steal the gem.

"Prepare for trouble, I'm Diva One."

"And make it double, I'm Diva Two."

And the Team Rocket Trio are like,

"You know, this is the late Misty and Brock era, so we you know we really suck, so we aren't even gonna _try_ to do anything here."

So Ash and his friends go to a museum,

And the museum guy is like,

"We have this big powerful super technological device that can protect the city!"

"Why the hay do you need something like that?"

"Well, I, um."

"You could always just hire some cops."

"Well, I, um."

"And what if someone tries to hijack the controls and takes over the city?"

"Look, we gotta have an epic climax somehow!"

"And a Legendary Pokemon battle wouldn't be enough?"

"Shut-up!"

So it turns out that Latias can turn into a human!

 _I_ turned into a human once.

Twice.

Or was it three times, I've lost count.

Anyway, Latias likes to imitate a girl named Bianca.

 _Not_ the stupid one from Black and White.

And Ash and Pikachu follows her and finds the secret hiding place of Latios and Latias!

And the museum guy and the real Bianca are like,

"Oh dear, we made it our job to protect Latios and Latias and now a random stranger found them! We're really bad at this."

But it's okay because Ash and Pikachu are the main characters, so they all get to play together!

"Yay! Pretty flying scene!"

And then the museum guy is like,

"Here's the priceless Soul Dew gem Ash."

"Wow, cool. I sure hope no one is using a robot to spy on us."

But it turns out the Team Rocket Divas _are_ using a robot to spy on them!

What a twist!

So the Divas capture Latios and use the Soul Dew to take control of the big powerful super technological device.

So Latias comes and gets Ash and his friends to come and help.

And the Team Rocket Divas lock down the entire city and hold everyone hostage.

And the Team Rocket Trio is like,

"We're in the movie!"

Then the Team Rocket Divas restore a whole bunch of fossils and send them to attack the Pokemon heroes.

 _Zorua chuckled._

Hee-hee-hee! Pokemon heroes. Get it. Ya see. . .

 _Zorua blinked and continued._

So the evil Kabutops and Aerodactyl get brought back too.

And they're like,

"We have no evil motivations whatsoever, but we're gonna attack you anyway! RAAAAR!"

But then the big powerful super technological device goes out of control,

Which makes me wonder how the people who built it expected it to defend the city at all,

And the Soul Dew gem disappears turning the Pokemon back into fossils and causing a big tsunami to come to destroy the city.

 _Zorua scratched his head in confusion._

How was this thing supposed to protect the city, anyway?

So Latios is like,

"(I must sacrifice myself to save the city just like our father!)"

"(Why can't _I_ make the sacrifice?)"

"(Oh. Well, uh, Latias I-.)"

"(You love me and don't want me to die? Yes, I know. But I feel the same way about you and-.)"

"(That's . . . not what I was gonna say-)"

"(Then what were you gonna say?)"

"(Um, er, well . . . look, I'm male, you're female, and it isn't a woman's place to-)"

"(Oh, you are _dead!)"_

ZAP!

And so Team Rocket are like,

"We're in the movie!"

Latios becomes a new Soul Dew.

Either Bianca or Latias gives Ash a kiss,

Hopefully Bianca, because, that would be creepy if it were Latias,

Latias gets haunted by the ghosts of her sexist father and brother,

And the Team Rocket Divas go to jail where they learn about a Pokemon villain that nearly no one even remembers anymore.

Which continues to make me wonder why the Team Rocket Trio haven't been arrested yet.

"We're in the movie!"

Now I know some of you are wondering why I didn't ask for Pecha Berries in the last review.

Well, look around! I live in Matthais' Berry Field!

So this is Zorua here, saying. . .do ya got any Pokemon fossils?! PLEASE! I really want a Pokemon fossil! Come on, help a cute little Zorua out, huh? Come on, please!

Come on, I want to try and bring an Amaura back to life! They look so happy and friendly!

Oh, and thanks Imperator Justinian! The Pecha Berry crop was kind of let down this time, so your welcome home basket of them was the greatest!

* * *

 ** _Thank You_**

 _(Zoroark here. This was a good movie. Some parts didn't make much sense, and the villains were really bland and uninteresting, but the scenes with Latios, Latias, and our heroes can be really cool looking and even touching at times. The movie wasn't incredible or anything, but it was fun to watch with some cool animation for its time. **('Z')** )_


	3. XY0654- Facing the Grand Design!

_And now it's time for_ _ **Zorua Reviews**_ _with Zorua- son of Zoroark._

 _Tonight's Review:_ _ **XY0654- Facing the Grand Design!**_

* * *

 ** _(First Person POV)_**

 _ **OH MY GOSH!**_ This is the _greatest_ episode I've ever seen in my life!

Take us to your- SPOILERS!

 _(Zorua chuckled loudly.)_

This episode is _so_ funny! It's like the funniest episode I've ever seen!

So Ash and his friends go to Grace Tower where there have been UFO sightings.

And Ash is like,

"I wanna see an alien one day."

 _(Zorua sniggered again.)_

Ash hopes to see aliens! Like he and Pikachu haven't already seen a whole bunch of aliens.

Then they run into some Malamar who aren't evil like the one who brainwashed them before.

But then the evil Malamar from before comes in _driving a truck_!

 _(Zorua put a paw over his mouth to stifle his laughter.)_

A Malamar is _driving a truck,_ I ask you!

So Ash and Team Rocket follow the trucks, and it turns out there are actually _three_ evil Malamar.

And they all team up with the Officer Jenny who used to be Madame X.

And Jame's Inkay wants to fight the evil Malamar by himself.

 _(Zorua laughed for bit before continuing.)_

But then one of Malamar comes in captures everybody except James, Inkay, Meowth, and Clemont.

So they go down to the good wild Pokemon and ask them to help.

But then one of the evil Malamar comes down and is like,

"You should join the evil side instead-"

 _BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

"-You get to murder innocent humans and Pokemon!"

 _(Zorua blew a raspberry.)_

So the wild Pokemon decide to fight the evil Malamar.

And they go up to the top of Grace Tower where the Malamars have these giant prisms.

So it turns out the Malamar hypnotized _alllll_ these scientists to make the prisms.

And they're somehow able to create this giant fire ball out of nothing with no power source that will somehow be able to turn the whole world into a place where only Malamar's can survive.

Like, they don't want to conquer the world or enslave it, they just want to kill all the other humans and Pokemon in the entire world!

 _(Zorua laughed breathlessly)_

Imagine if this was trying to be serious, it'd be so _stupid!_

So then they take control of Inkay, but James snaps him out of it by, _get this:_

Feeding him a croissant!

 _(Zorua closed his eyes tightly as tears of laughter squeezed out and ran down his cheeks)_

So then all the good Pokemon stop the prisms from activating.

But then the three evil Malamar escape because. . . because. . .

 _(Zorua is shaking with laughter, unable to speak for a bit. He finally composes himself and is able to finish his sentence.)_

Because they use the prisms to make an instant time machine!

 _(Zorua burst out laughing, not just snickering like he usually does, but full, loud, raucous laughter.)_

HOLY SMOKES! **_Facing the Grand Design_** is the funniest Pokemon episode of all time! I love it! 60 stars! I-

 _(Riolu suddenly comes on camera and said gently)_

 _"Zorua. . . it's not a comedy. . .It's a drama."_

 _(As Riolu walked back off-screen, Zorua stared at him in silence, looking very confused.)_

Really? This was supposed to be taken seriously?

 _(Zorua blinked solemnly, and then shrugged)_

Well . . .Okay, it was the greatest _drama_ I've ever seen in my life!

I mean, this episode was so original!

You see, this episode had Pokemon carrying out an evil scheme without any human influence.

And no episode has done that before!

. . . Except for _**Scare at the Litwick Mansion**_

 ** _Meowth's Scrafty Tactics_**

 ** _The Pirates of Decolore_**

 ** _Genesect and the Legend Awakened_**

Aaaaaand anything having to do with _Pokemon Mystery Dungeon._

But it also has the theme of the bonds between Pokemon and Trainer, which. . . just about every extra dramatic and emotional episode of the Anime has done.

But it has Pokemon using time travel which goes all the way back to is in nearly half of the Pokemon movies, not to mention **_Me, Myself, and Time._**

And it has Pokemon being mind controlled!

 _(Zorua pulled a wry face.)_

I'm sure Junki Takegami knows that we haven't seen _that_ yet!

 _(Zorua scratched the back of his head.)_

How is serious or original in any way, shape, or form?

Everything is borrowed from something else, how is this new?

They should have just played this up as a comedic episode, then it wouldn't have mattered it it wasn't new, cause it would've just been a big joke!

I'm just gonna pretend its a comedy, it's better that way.

This is Zorua here, and I was wondering. . .do ya got any croissants?! PLEASE! I really want some croissants! Come on, help a cute little Zorua out, huh? Come on, please!

Come on, what if the time traveling Malamar mind control me or my family? How are we supposed to break free from their control without a croissant?

Oh, and thanks. . . random anonymous guest. . . for the treasure chest full of Poke Diamonds! Now I can actually _play_ Pokemon Rumble World!

* * *

 _Thank You_

 _(Zoroark here. This episode was like a one of those really cheesy sci-fi movies that become 'so bad it's good' cult classics. It wasn't really a bad episode, but it really was kind of ridiculous and melodramatic at times. This Malamar story arc has seriously gone too far. This episode totally jumped the shark. If they can drop the GS Ball arc, I'm pretty sure they can drop this Malamar story arc too. I wouldn't mind. **('Z')** )_


	4. SS020 and SS021: PMD Time, Darkness, Sky

_And now it's time for_ _ **Zorua Reviews**_ _with Zorua- son of Zoroark._

 _Tonight's Review:_ _ **SS020 and SS021: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time & Darkness and Sky**_

* * *

 ** _(First Person POV)_**

 _ **OH MY GOSH!**_ These are the _greatest_ Pokemon Specails I've ever seen in my life!

My Dimensional Scream is telling me that there's gonna be _SPOILERS!_

There's this Grovyle, who steals this gear.

And it causes time to stop!

Oh my gosh, he must be _evil!_

 _(Zorua gave a huge wink)_

Then there's this Chimchar, who want to form and exploration team.

And is. . . chased out of the guild in a really weird misunderstanding. . . thingy. . .

Then he meets a Piplup knocked out on the beach.

And the Piplup is like,

"Oh my gosh, I was a human before, but now I'm a Pokemon!"

And Chimchar is like,

"Oh my gosh, there is only one thing to do! . . . You must create an Exploration Team with me!"

". . . I have no idea how that could possibly help-."

"Look, my character is a confidence lacking wuss, so just help me."

"Okay."

So Piplup and Chimchar start their team,

And then Chimchar gets a vision of the future!

. . . Of Sunflora buying stuff. . .

 _(Zorua shrugged)_

Sure, don't see anything interesting like an evil boss Pokemon or the location of someone in trouble, just show someone's shopping list from the future!

Of course!

So they go on their first mission, which is to find a Gabite Scale in order to heal a Shinx's sister.

But team Razor Wind is like,

"We're gonna take the place of Team Skull and try and steal your mission!"

"Why didn't the writers just put in Team Skull?"

"Because making Dark and Poison-type Pokemon evil is racist?"

"Okay, we'll go with that."

So our heroes go looking for the Gabite Scale, and Piplup predicts that a bridge will collapse.

And Chimchar is like,

"Wow, it's good you somehow have the ability to predict the future, which I shall not question at all."

So then they find out that Team Razor Wind all got beat up by a Gabite.

"Wow, the three of us, who are all seasoned adventured with tons of experience, got beaten up by one single Pokemon. . . . We're really bad at this."

Oh come on! We could've seen Team Skull beaten up in high def, detailed anime!

But instead we get a bunch of random Pokemon we've never seen before!

What a rip off!

So our heroes go to fight the Gabite.

And Sunflora is like,

"I will fight with you two boys!"

And Gabite is like,

"Attract."

"DUH!"

So Chimchar and Piplup got to fight Gabite. . . while the girl just stands in the corner and does nothing.

 _(Zorua frowned)_

That's kinda sexist!

And Piplups wins by using Bubblebeam!

Hooray!

So Gabite gives them the Gabite Scale for winning!

Team Razor Wind looks even worse in comparison!

Shinx's sister gets better!

And our heroes get a Luxray Fang!

But then Chatot is like,

"Gimme that!"

 _Swipe!_

Wait a minute, in the games, didn't the Guild only take the _money_ and let you keep the item gifts?

Wow, Chatot, you're an even bigger jerk here than in the games!

"I know!"

End of part one!

So the next episode starts. . . . near the end of plot of the game. . .

 _(Zorua is perplexed)_

Yeah. . . Meeting Dusknoir, arresting Grovyle, meeting Celebi, going to the bad future, finding out who's good and who's evil, Piplup's true identity. . . that's all skipped. . .

Oh yeah, and all of the game's back story before this point is explained and summarized.

They should have called this _SPOILERS: THE MOVIE!_

So Chimchar, Piplup, and Grovyle are riding Lapras to get to the Hidden Land.

And Grovyle has the voice of the Pharaoh from Yu-Gi-Oh!

"You can defeat Primal Dialga if you believe in the Heart of the Cards."

"Did you just ask a Piplup and a Chimchar to defeat a Legendary Pokemon that has power over time. . . and we don't mean the little one that you have a totally obvious crush on in the games.."

"Just shut up and go along with it."

"Okay."

So then they all go to a pyramid!

Wow, I guess Grovyle really _is_ the Pharaoh.

And then they try to use Chimchar's Relic Fragment to activate a stone space ship that will take them to Temporal Tower.

Wow, this all sounds kinda crazy when you say it out loud.

But then the _evil_ Dusknoir and his _evil_ Sableye henchmen show up and steal the Relic Fragment.

And Dusknoir is like,

"I made this in the future!"

. . .

Okay. . .

Did we really need to know that?

Anyway, back at the Guild, Wigglytuff is like,

"We're not the main characters, so we should lie down and go to time freeze."

So the main characters beat up all the Sableye.

And then they use Pokemon Trainer's Final Smash to defeat Dusknoir!

"Triple Finish!"

 _BOOM!_

But then Dusknoir is like,

"If you save the world, then the world will disappear!"

And Piplup is like,

"I have _no_ idea what that means."

"It means changes the future now will cause all the Pokemon in the future will disappear including us three!"

"Well then how could you, Grovyle, and I have been able to come to the past to make this happen if our future is gonna disappear?"

"Oh, um, well. . ."

"And if we do disappear from time, then how could we come back in time in the first place to _cause_ the events that would make us disappear?"

"Look, let's just use the Many Worlds Theory here."

"Well in that case, why would changing the future cause our own separate parallel future world to disappear?"

"You know what, forget this, I just wanna rule the world with Primal Dialga."

And then Chimchar is like,

"Hey guys, did I miss anything interesting?"

And Grovyle is like,

"Maybe, but you sure aren't gonna miss this! RAAAAAR!"

So Grovyle tackles Dusknoir and takes the both of them back through a portal to the future!

And Chimchar is like,

"I'm gonna not wuss out and own Grovyle's departure, just like we will own Primal Dialga!"

And Piplup is like,

"But he's gonna disappear. . ."

"What?"

"Oh nothing."

"Well then, let's make a bright future for us all!"

"Except for me."

"What?"

"Oh, _*ahem*,_ sorry, I got a bit of a cough, I think."

So Piplup and Chimchar ride the stone space ship over to Temporal Tower.

And Piplup is like,

"Oh yeah, that's right Primal Dialga! You're about to be owned by two non-evolved, non-Legendary Pokemon on international televis-."

THE END! No more specials!

"WHAT THE HAY!?"

So the Explorers of Time, Darkness, and Sky was _really_ good, except for when it just skipped the entire middle part of the plot.

And I can't wait to see if they're gonna do a Gates to Infinity special!

But we're gonna need just the right person to voice Hydreigon.

I wonder if Weird Al Yankovic is busy nowadays?!

He smells like a grilled cheese sandwich.

This is Zorua here, and I was wondering. . .do ya got any Gummis?! PLEASE! I really want some Gummis! Come on, feed a cute little Zorua out, huh? Come on, please!

Come on, how else am I gonna grow big and strong without those extra nutritious Gummis?

Oh, and thanks DragonNiro and Imperator Justinian! Pecha Berries and croissants, what a Heavenly combo!

* * *

 _Thank You_

 _(Zoroark here. They should not have tried to fit such a deep plot into two episodes. Well, actually they didn't, they just played the beginning and the end pretty much. I suppose they didn't want to spoil the games **too** much. But anyway, this was even better than the first Mystery Dungeon special. It had all the familiar characters, but kinda focused too much on our main duo. I wish there were more episodes, or that they were longer. This could've been it's own separate miniseries or something. Oh well. . . **('Z')** )_


	5. XY044- Showdown at the Shalour Gym!

_And now it's time for_ _ **Zorua Reviews**_ _with Zorua- son of Zoroark._

 _Tonight's Review: **XY044- Showdown at the Shalour Gym!**_

* * *

Zorua paced around, his nose pointed towards the ground. He looked to be in deep thought, a rare state for Zorua. After walking around for a while, he finally looked up and said, "Okay, forget the intro, forget the spoiler alert, even forget the part where I ask for stuff at the end. Let me tell you something. _Let me tell you._ "

Zorua got real close and pointed at camera and said, "Remember back in the Unova League when Pikachu _lost_ to a Lucario who had just evolved from a Riolu during that same battle and who was on a five Pokemon team versus Ash's six Pokemon team _and_ whose Trainer was a goof-up that would've made Season One Ash look like Sir Aaron in comparison just to hype up Lucario even more than he already was? . . . Which was kinda made pointless when Lucario lost to Virigl's Flareon . . . Anyway, this episode takes everyone who thought that was a good idea, grabs them by the throat, and says:"

Zorua's paw glowed red and swung Scratch attacks around wildly as he shouted in an fierce, angry voice, "NO! NO! That is not how you do a _Pikachu who's been to every region and defeated a Latios battle_! That is **_NOT_** how you do a _Pikachu who's been to every region and defeated a Latios battle_! You **_IDIOTS_**!"

Zorua collapsed after running out of breath from his rant. After catching his breath, Zorua said seriously, "So . . . forget the rest of this episode. **_WE_** are here for _Mega Lucario vs Pikachu._ "

Zorua took out a tablet and quickly made a call.

"Hello?" a voice answered.

"Spike the Snob, I really like your review show on _thatdragonwiththetophat dot com._ And from what I've seen on _Fall Weather Friends_ and _Suited For Success,_ I can tell you're really good at announcing and have a cool voice for it," Zorua said urgently.

"Oh, um, okay. . . so . . . ?" Spike replied in confusion.

"I need your cool sounding announcer voice to narrate the climax of _Showdown at the Shalour Gym,_ " Zorua said.

"The thunderbolting godchu scene?" Spike asked with a raised eyebrow.

Zorua blinked. "Uhh, well, yeah, you can call it that if you want, but it-," Zorua shook it off and then nodded, "Yes! Yes!"

Spike gave a wide grin. _"Done."_

 _"The two opponents s_ _tarting off by staring each other down._

 _Then Mega Lucario says, 'How could you possibly defeat to the only Pokemon people use in Super Smash Bros?'_

 _Then Pikachu says, 'But this isn't Super Smash Bros., now is it?'_

 _Pikachu uses Quick Attack, and while still running, charges up an Electro Ball._

 _But then Mega Lucario uses Bone Rush to smack the Electro Ball away._

 _Pikachu uses Iron Tail next, but Mega Lucario blocks it and send Pikachu flying._

 _While still in mid-air, godchu Thunderbolts that mutt to the floor._

 _Then Mega Lucario hits Pikachu with an Aura Sphere._

 _Pikachu lands, releases lightning bolts for determination and says, 'You cannot defeat such awesomeness. Not even Legendary Pokemon can contain my awesomeness.'_

 _Lucario then uses Metal Sound, immobilizing Pikachu."_

"FIGHT IT, PIKACHU!" Zorua shouted.

 _"Pikachu uses Thunderbolt to deny Mega Mutt's Metal Sound in it's tracks, and then denies an Aura Sphere with his Iron Tail, and goes flying into the air._

 _Mega Lucario then jumps up and uses Bone Rush, and Pikachu uses another Iron Tail to block, which causes a huge explosion._

 _Then Mega Meowth comes in and uses Hyper Beam on them-."_

"Okay, I'm pretty sure that didn't happen," Zorua interrupted.

 _"Who has the great announcer's voice?"_ Spike said with a smile.

"Okay," Zorua said with a shrug.

 _"-but they survive the attack and send him blasting off with their own attacks._

 _Then Pikachu says, 'Surrender, or face 1.21 gigawatts.'_

 _Mega Lucario responds with a Power-Up Punch, which Pikachu denies with an Iron Tail._

 _Pikachu then gives his opponent one more chance._

 _'Stand down or prepare to get the Smash Balls kicked out of you.'_

 _Mega Lucario uses Aura Sphere._

 _Thus the thudnerbolting godchu denies it with an Electro Ball and replies, 'Then it looks like Team Aura is blasting off again.'_

 _And then Pikachu Thunderbolts the Mega Evolutionary power out of that Poke **mutt**._

 _The battle is over._

 _Pikachu and Lucario, two sworn rivals, acknowledge that their honor has been satisfied, and agree to meet again._

 _. . . Oh and some sutff with Hawlucha, Fletchinder, Meinfoo, and Machoke happened too. . . but who cares!_

 _Pikachu climbs back onto Ash's shoulder, turns to the camera and says:_

 _'I am **not** a thunderbolting godchu. . . I am _**_THE_** _t_ _hunderbolting godchu.'"_

Zorua burst into an extremely loud cheer, falling over, rolling around, and laughing in glee wildly.

Zorua took loud, deep breaths; his chest heaving up and down as he tried to compose himself after his fanboy fit.

"Best. Battle. EVER!" Zorua exclaimed.

Zorua sat up on his haunches and said, "Well, thanks Spike. For the announcing, and for the Black Gummis . . . see you around. . ."

Zorua fell backwards and lay on his back on the soft grass.

* * *

 ** _Thank You_**

 _(Zoroark here. Yes, this Gym Battle was awesome. . . except for the stupid dancing Ash tried to do with Hawlucha, that was just dumb. But after that the battle was cool. Not just Mega Lucario, but with Meinfoo and Machoke and Hawlucha and Fletchinder too, don't take Spike's comment too seriously. Of course Pikachu and Mega Lucario stole the show, and it was so satisfying to see Pikachu show exactly why he's the franchise mascot._ _**This**_ _is the Pikachu that held his own in his battle against Tobias!_ _**('Z')** )_

 ** _Special_** _ **Thanks to thatdragonwiththetophat dot com**_


	6. XY069 and XY070: Goodra vs Florges

_And now it's time for_ _ **Zorua Reviews**_ _with Zorua- son of Zoroark._

 _Tonight's Review: **XY069: Defending the Homeland and XY070-: Beyond the Rainbow**_

* * *

 ** _(Zorua's POV)_**

Okay, well . . . spoilers! . . . I guess.

There's these wetlands, where Ash's Goodra lived when he was a Goomi.

And Ash the gang finally arrive there.

And there's this Wooper who's like, "Goomi!?- _uh, I mean-_ Goodra!?"

And Goodra is like, "Wooper!"

Hooray!

And there's this human caretaker who lives on the wetlands.

And he's like, "Goomi and his friends were attacked and driven out of a magical healing spring by an army of Bug-types and their . . . fire breathing. . . Servipers."

 _(Zorua made a wry face at that.)_

Okay, I don't care if Servipers can learn Flamethrower, it just sounds and looks so wrong.

But then the _evil_ leader of the army finds out that Goodra has returned.

She's kind of like what you'd get if you put Karai from the 4Kids Ninja Turtles into a Florges' body.

"Ah. . . so the prodigal son has returned. . . _to meet his doom!_ "

So Wooper is like, "Goodra, kick her weirdly bent behind!"

And Goodra is like, "Well, sure, I mean, if I took down Clemont's Luxray, I'm pretty much invincible."

And Ash is like, "Let's help them take on this extremely powerful and huge army!"

But the caretaker is like, "No. This is between two groups of wild Pokemon."

"Even though one is clearly evil and the other is clearly outnumbered and outmatched?"

"Yes."

"Wow, nature stinks."

So then Goodra beats the pollen out of the Karai Florges.

Huh, like we didn't see that coming.

But then Team Rocket is like, "BOOM! HEADSHOT!" and knocks Goodra out and helps the Karai Florges to escape.

So they take her to the magical healing spring.

And it turns out Florges went to _allll_ the trouble of getting an army to drive all the other Pokemon away so a sick Floette could have it all to herself?

 _(Zorua had a face of disbelief, then he frowned and walked of somewhere. He came back dragging Keldeo by the hoof)_

Comment on that plot point!

 _"Huh? Why?"_

Because something _that_ stupid needs to be torn apart by a master critic!

 _"Heh-heh! Wow, you think I'm a master critic! I-"_

Just comment on it!

 _"Oh, um, okay. Just give me a moment. *Ahem*! Okay then. . . . NO-NO-NO! YOU CAN'T BE THIS STUPID! YOU CANNOT BE THIS STUPID! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! All you had to do was carry Floette into the spring and say,_ _'I've brought a sick friend who could use a good bath in your healing spring.' What, are they gonna say no? And if they did, what reason would they have to say no? And the episode NEVER explains why Florges didn't just ASK. As a result, Florges looks like a Wormadam Moron! GOSH!"_

 _Keldeo turned to Zorua and asked, "Was that alright?"_

 _Zorua shrugged._

Good enough.

 _"Alright then, well, see you later."_

Sure.

Okay, so Team Rocket is like, "We'll help you defeat Goodra if your army helps us capture Pikachu!"

Huh, like we didn't see that coming.

So Pikachu, Dedene, and Wooper get captured.

And Clemont and the caretaker are like, "We checked the security cameras-"

 _(Zorua looked confused.)_

Wait, who puts security cameras in wetlands?

Well, anyway, they're like, "-and we saw Team Rocket!"

"Oh my gosh, it's _An Oasis of Hope_ all over again!"

So Goodra wakes up after being knocked out. . . and somehow shows no sign of being weakened at all during the entire episode, and joins our heroes in defeating Team Rocket.

Meanwhile, Team Rocket tells Florges: "Goodra and the twerps are stealing the water so you can't heal Floette."

And Pikachu is like, "Really? You're gonna believe whatever these three obvious bad guys tell you?"

And Florges is like, "Yes."

Oh my gosh, even the real Karai stopped obeying the Shredder eventually, and he adopted and raised her!

So our heroes go into the spring where Florges and Floette are.

And Florges is like, "Floette is dying because of you, so prepare to perish!"

So she and her army are about to destroy Ash and his friends.

But then Team Rocket is like, "We lied. We stole the water. You're stupid."

 _(Zorua face pawed and shouted)_

KELDEO!

 _Keldeo walked back in and said, "Again, REALLY STUPID! If Team Rocket had waited for Team Florges and Team Goodra to destroy each other, or fight to the point of exhaustion, they could have gotten away with the water easily! But nooooooooooo! They just had to come back and reveal their evil plan to Florges. So now they have NO allies! Only enemies! I know the giant plan makes a lot of noise and would have revealed the truth, but if they had waited for Florges to defeat Ash and Goodra, then they would have won! Stupid villains are not good villains, and they ruin the story!"_

 _Keldeo walked off while saying ,"Alright Zorua, I've done enough. Please try to finish this review yourself, okay?"_

 _Zorua pouted._

Alright, fine, whatever.

So Team Rocket takes off with all the magic water in their huge, ginormous airship.

Seriously, how did none of the Pokemon notice this ship coming in?

So Ash is like, "Goodra, throw me up there!"

And Goodra. . . grabs Ash with his. . . thingy. . . and throws Ash like. . . 50 feet into the air. . . and he lands onto the wing. . . and-and-and-

 _Zorua growled and stormed off._

Oh okay. Sure, no problem. If that's what happened, then who am I to argue. Very well. Carry on. I quit! Forget these episodes! Roll the credits!

* * *

 ** _Thank you_**

* * *

 ** _. . ._**

The Aura Sphere Riolu timidly peered in from the side, and then confidently walked in to take Zorua's place.

"Well, okay, I guess my brother has given up on this review. So, I guess I'll have to take over for him."

Riolu smiled adorably and said, "Fine by me! I've always wanted to do this."

"So Florges rides a Yanmega up to the airship to help Ash, and Goodra uses Dragon Pulse as a rocket engine to propel himself up there as well."

"Then they break in and battle Team Rocket to save Pikachu, Dedene, and Wooper; and of course they send Team Rocket blasting off again."

"But the battle causes the airship to fall apart, so Flogres' Yanmegas come to save them."

"But then an explosion causes Flogres to fall off, and then Goodra, even after all the trauma she's put him through, jumps off to save her."

Riolu smiled sheepishly and says, "Too bad he just ends up falling with her."

"So then Ash is like, _'I wanna throw myself off something too!'_ and falls along with them."

"But Team Florges and Team Goodra join forces to give them a soft landing."

"So, with the ship destroyed, that means all the water will fall back into the wetlands, right?"

"Well. . . no. Turns out the writers aren't very good at science, because apparently all the water got blown up too, or something."

"But don't worry, because Goodra and Flogres combine Rain Dance and Grassy Terrain to restore all the water and life to the wetlands."

"Wow, Pokemon would make terraforming Mars a breeze!"

"They also seem to supercharge the water's healing effects, because after about 3 seconds in the water, Floette is suddenly good as new."

"She also seems to be a FlorgesXGoodra Shipper. . ."

Riolu had to stop and think about that.

"Is that even a thing? Well, I guess it is now."

"So everyone is happy, the wetlands are saved, there's now peace and harmony between the two Pokemon groups, and Ash makes a very difficult but necessary decision."

"Ash decides to let Goodra stay there with all his friends."

 _ **"WHAT!?"**_

Riolu turns to see both Zorua and Zoroark storming in angrily.

"So let me get this straight," Zoroark growled fiercely, "They have the nerve to do a fake-out with that annoying Oshawott leaving in _Crowning the Scalchop King,_ but when we get a very interesting, fun, unique, and likable character like Goodra, they go ahead and have him leave the group?!"

"Now we'll _never_ see Goodra win the Kalos League for Ash!" Zorua howled mournfully.

"Now, wait a moment!" Riolu said, "Ash's Charizard got to come back, didn't he?"

"That's not the same!" Zorua argued, "Ash left Charizard in Charific Valley to get stronger. He _planned_ on going back for him. He didn't _release_ him. But here, Ash said that he wanted Goodra to _live_ in the wetlands and _stay_ with his friends. He's not in Professor Oak's lab, he's not in a special training area, he's in the wild as a wild Pokemon now!"

"So Ash should have selfishly kept Goodra just so he could have a powerful Pokemon to battle with?" Riolu asked sternly.

"Well, no, but-," Zorua began.

"Zorua. . ." Zoroark said grumpily as she looked down and shook her head and sighed. "Just. . . just accept it," she said in a calmer tone, "This is just how Ash is. He has a good heart, and he cares about Pokemon. He wants what's best for them, and the fact is that Goodra living free and strong with his friends as the protector of the wetlands is the best possible ending for him, even if it means a tearful goodbye."

Zorua sniffed and wiped his snout with his paw. "I'm sure gonna miss the Baymax of Pokemon."

Riolu chuckled. " _'_ _The Baymax of Pokemon,'_ huh? Heh. That's not a bad title for Goodra at all. Well, Goodra had a very good story arc, some charming moments and some awesome moments. Let's hope that some day, we'll see him again."

Riolu waved and said with a smile, "This is the Aura Sphere Riolu saying-"

"Do ya got any Baymax plushies!" Zorua interrupted, "PLEASE! We'd really like Baymax plushies! Come on, please! Come on, they looks so soft and huggable and everything! Oh, and I'd like to thank Jack Storm 448 and Imperator Justinian for the Gummis they gave us! They were real good."

* * *

 ** _Thank You_**

 _(Zoroark here, again. These two episodes had a lot of plot holes, but unlike the infamous Malamar episode, it was still enjoyable and had a lot of heart to it. It felt so good to see how far Goodra had come in confidence and strength. It was also nice to see him return home and fight to protect it. But they just had to shove Team Rocket into this. I see no point in trying to push the 'there are no evil Pokemon' belief after what we've seen Malamar do. But Goodra making peace with Florges was nice anyway. It had a real touching ending with Ash following his heart. Goodbye for now, Goodra. I do hope we get to see you again._ _**('Z')** )_


	7. Anime Special Shorts: Hoopa's Operations

_And now, Lucario would like to give his take on the_ ** _Pokémon XY Anime Special Shorts: Hoopa's Operations_** _  
_

* * *

Lucario paced back in forth, looking downward in deep thought. He walked back and forth many times, clearly in deep concentration.

Eventually he stopped, and looked at the camera. He opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped himself and held up a paw as he closed his eyes again to think.

Then, he sighed, opened his eyes, and said, "Okay, so I find my two sons Riolu and Zorua in some kind of argument with an Enigma Berry. _This_ Enigma Berry to be exact."

Lucario tossed the Enigma Berry up and caught it a few times in his other paw.

"Now, imagine my confusion when I saw that those two trying to _force_ the Enigma Berry on each other while trying to outshout each other. Well, after breaking them up, I found out that the Enigma Berry was given to Zorua by Ryu Taylor the Ferret as a kind of payment to review a series of anime shorts starring a new Legendary Pokemon named Hoopa. Zorua didn't want to go through with it, and convinced Riolu to take over. But then _Riolu_ didn't want to go through with it, and thus, they had a fight."

Lucario sighed and said, "Now, when I trained Riolu in the art of Aura Manipulation, I also instilled in him the standard statutes that all martial arts have. This includes, of course, honor. So, I told Riolu that he should honor the promise he made to his brother, and that Zorua should honor his own promise to Ryu Taylor, by reviewing the Hoopa shorts together as a team."

Lucario slumped, appearing to wilt as his ears drooped a bit, and he continued, "And then those two started crying and begging and pleading. . .and then Zoroark came in and saw them crying. . . then they ran over to her and started begging and pleading. . ."

Lucario shook it off and stood up straight again, "So. . . yes. . .Long story short, now _I'm_ reviewing the shorts. . . Okay. . ."

Lucario tossed the Enigma Berry up into the air and caught it in his mouth. He chewed, swallowed, and said, "Let's get started."

"First of all, these six 40 second shorts are meant to get people excited for Hoopa's upcoming movie, _Hoopa and the Clash of Ages._ They feature the new Legendary Pokemon interacting with Ash and Pikachu, showing off his powers and personality. Sounds pretty harmless to me, so let's take a look."

"In the first short, entitled ' _Fly,'_ Ash is wearing a Sky Battle flight-suit from _XY036- Battles in the Sky._ He wants to do some flying, but there's no wind. Hoopa decides to help Ash by using his magic ring to make a portal that summons three Fetchlings who use Gust to get Ash airborne. But then Hoopa summons a huge army of Flying-type Pokemon, including Therian Forme Tornadus, that send Ash, Pikachu, and Hoopa blasting off like Team Rocket. Then the short ends."

Lucario blinked, staring straight ahead, looking quite unhappy. "That's it? That was the short? Was that even a _short_? That felt like-"

Lucario's jaw suddenly dropped, "WAIT A MINUTE!? TORNADUS!? TORNADUS!? Where did he come from!? How can Hoopa summon Legendary Pokemon? What if he pulled Dialga somewhere right when he's trying to do some complex time manipulation? Or for that matter, what if any Pokemon he summoned was right in the middle of something important? How do these portals work? Do they go through time and pull Pokemon in from a time that's convenient? How do they know? Or do these portals create energy clones of Pokemon, which is very disturbing if those portals can bring in a clone of Arceus!"

Lucario glared and said, "And another thing, Hoopa is . . . he's . . . he's so. . .well. . . he laughs and chants _'did Hoopa startle you?!'_ as Ash is flailing around in mid air and being thrown around by the crazy wind _he_ made! Is he sadistic? Is he a prankster? What?! And then when he gets caught in Tornadus' wind, he just gives the most arrogant sneaky smile and says, _'Hoopa startled you! Hee-hee-hee,'_ as if it's no concern of his!"

Lucario sighed, "Well, in the next short, entitled _'Alarm,'_ Ash and Pikachu are asleep in a tent with six alarm clocks shaped like Loudreds and Explouds going off all at ounce, but they still aren't waking up for some reason. Since when were they such heavy sleepers? So Hoopa summons a real Loudroud, Exploud, and Noivern to wake them both up, while _he_ wears earplugs, of course. Ofcourse, this nearly sends them blasting off a second time and totally destroys their tent. After Hoopa taunts and bullies Ash, we see that Pikachu is _somehow_ still asleep after a burst of sound that nearly caused Ash to go deaf, and then he Thunderbolts Ash and Hoopa _while still alseep_ , and the short ends."

Lucario took in a sharp breath and said, "What the heck am I watching? Is this reality? Is this what the Pokemon Anime has come to? This is ridiculous! I'm only on the second short, and I already want to strangle this cocky, arrogant, jerk!"

"So. . . in the next. . . _thing. . ._ called _'Ball Collecting,'_ Ash and Pikachu are helping Hawlucha train by tossing Pokeballs at him for him to. . . dodge? Block? Deflect? I don't know, **_I don't know!"_**

Lucario sighed, "Well, anyway, Hoopa then rips of Valve's _Portal_ by using his rings to send the Pokeballs back to Ash, making things a lot easier."

Lucario raised an eyebrow and said, "Wow. Hoopa's actually being nice and helpful. Maybe he's not so bad after all?"

"Well, after a while, Hoopa gives this smug little smirk and summons a Voltorb to _blow Ash and Pikachu up!_ Oh, but don't worry! Pikachu knocks the Voltorb back to Hoopa, so he gets blown up too! This would have been a happy ending, if it didn't end with Hoopa smirking anyway and saying how he _'got startled'_ in this sickeningly cute way."

Lucario roared, "WHAT IS THIS!? This is awful! I'm not kidding, this is absolutely painful! Is this all Hoopa is good for? Treating Ash Ketchum like a butt monkey?"

"Well, in the next. . . _sin_. . . called _'White-Hot Battles',_ Ash and Pikachu are in a boxing ring, probably the one from Super Smash Bros. 3DS, and we get a very disturbing image of them being _fired up_ for a battle. Hoopa summons a Blaziken for them to battle, and the two of them are really excited, but then Hoopa summons an _army_ of Fire-type Pokemon to brutally attack them, and he laughs smugly as Ash and Piakchu run around with their behinds on fire. Luckily, Moltress shows up and gives Hoopa third degree burns."

A joyful tear trickled down Lucario's left cheek as he smiled and nodded, saying with a genuine tone of gratitude, _"Thank you so much for that, Moltress._ "

"So, in the next. . . _TeenTitansGO! episode. . ._ called _'Shooting Stars,'_ Ash and Pikachu are stargazing, and they see a shooting star. Pikachu tries to wish on one, but the shooting star disappears before he can finish the wish. So Hoopa creates a huge meteor shower. . . okay, just how powerful is this Pokemon? Anyway, Ash wishes to become a Pokemon Master soon, _ha-ha,_ but then it turns out that the stars are actaully. . . Staryu? That's actually kinda cruel for those poor Staryu. . . Falling through the atmosphere on fire like that. . . Well, anyway, one of them hits Ash and Pikachu, blows up? . . . and sends them blasting off like Team Rocket. . . again. Of course, since Hoopa is a sadistic jerk, he snickers his sickening snicker, but then another Staryu comes down and blasts him off too."

Lucario folded his arms and frowned, "Unfortunately, hurting Hoopa too isn't enough to curb my disgust for him anymore."

Lucario then sobbed loudly and said, " _FINALLY!_ The last _The Land Before Time_ sequel, called _'Darkness,'_ has Ash, Pikachu, and Hoopa going through a dark cave. Hoopa summons a small group Litwick to light the way, but then, because he's a jerk, he summons an army of Litwick which awakens another army of Noibat, Noivern, and Sableye that blast them all out of the cave. Hoopa then ends it by saying that you can leave anything to him."

Lucario smiled, "Well, fine. I'll leave you something, Hoopa. I'll leave you these six shorts. Do you now why I'm leaving them to you? BECAUSE THEY'RE TERRIBLE!"

Lucario held his head in his paws and shouted, "Oh my gosh, what were they thinking when they made these shorts! Have you ever heard of an advertising campaign that gave you every reason in the world _not_ to like something? Who'd want to go see Hoopa's movie now? He's just a _horrible_ Pokemon! The only way this could work is if he were the villain! But even then, it may not work. Mewtwo was the cold hearted, sadistic, arrogant villain in _Pokemon: The First Movie,_ but we liked him because he had a deep, interesting backstory and wasn't cocky and annoying. Hoopa is just an annoying little brat that gets joy from causing innocent people physical pain. Someone needs to slap him in the mouth and teach him some manners, the little cretin. . ."

Lucario closed his eyes, took one last deep breath, opened his eyes slowly and said sternly and stiffly, "That's all I have to say."

Then he turned on his heels and walked away.

* * *

 ** _Thank You_**

 _(Zoroark here. Wow, Hoopa is really. . . unlikable. He's not cute, and he's certainly not nice. He's just annoying, and kinda ugly too. If he was just trying to be a helpful genie but his powers kept backfiring by accident, maybe that could work. But Hoopa is clearly deliberately making things harder, and painful, for Ash and Pikachu. This family does not like Hoopa one bit, but we're still going to see the movie anyway. Hopefully the other characters and other Legendary Pokemon that Hoopa will summon to fight in a hopefully epic battle will be enough to make the movie a tolerable experience. . . also, I feel really bad for making my love review those shorts. . ._ _**('Z')** )_


	8. EP001- Pokemon- I Choose You!

_And now it's time for_ _ **Zorua Reviews**_ _with Zorua- son of Zoroark._

 _Tonight's Review: **EP001**_ _ **: Pokemon- I Choose You!**_

* * *

 ** _(First Person POV)_**

 _ **OH MY GOSH!**_ This is the greatest Pokemon episode I've ever seen in my life!

I wanna be, the very best! that no one ever- _SPOILERS!_

This this 10 year old kid, named Ash Ketchum.

Yeah, he's kind of an underground anime character, I don't think you'd know him.

And he want to be a Pokemon Master!

In fact, he want to be one _so_ much that he stays up so late watching a Pokemon battle on TV that he oversleeps and also breaks his alarm clock.

 _(Zorua scratched behind his ear in confusion)._

What a looser!

So Ash runs over to Professor Oak's lab,

But he's too later! The three starter Pokemon are gone!

And Ash is like,

"Oh no! It's not like I can just catch them later on in the show!"

But Professor Oak is like,

"Don't worry, my boy. . . or girl. . . you never told me what you were. Err, I have this really disobedient, dangerous, over powered Pikachu you can take."

Yeah, Pikachu's another underground anime character. Don't worry if you don't know him.

So Ash is like, "Okay, I'll take him."

Then Pikachu zaps him with like a bajillion volts of electricity!

And Ash. . .somehow. . .doesn't. . . die. . .

Maybe he just got brain damage, that would explain a lot.

 _I_ got zapped by a bajillion volts of electricity once!

. . . .

 _Hey,_ I don't have drain bamage!

. . . .

That was a _joke_ , I did that on purpose. . .

So Pikachu won't go in his Pokeball for some reason that _never gets explained in the history of the entire series!_

So Ash puts a leash on Pikachu!

Well, no wonder Pikachu doesn't like Ash if he does something this demeaning to him.

 _I_ got put on a leash once!

Well, okay, it was more of an metal claw that electrocuted me half to death. . .

So Ash tries to catch a Pidgey,

But then he angers a huge flock of killer Spearow!

"Oh my gosh, I'm really bad at this!"

So the Spearow peck the heck out of Pikachu, and they run and jump into a pond.

No, no, no, that's for bees, not birds, get your cartoon gags right.

But then again, I'm pretty sure Ash doesn't know anything about the bird and the bees.

 _I_ know about the birds and bees!

 _(Zorua grinned)_

I have a girlfriend, remember!

Ahh, Zoe. . . you and Luke know better than anyone else that there's no business like show business.

But then this girl named Misty, a girl that Toadettegirl2012 wants to murder for some reason, pulls them out of the pond.

And Ash is like,

"Thanks for saving me, would you mind if I steal your bicycle?"

And Misty is like,

"Well sure I- wait, what?"

"Too late!"

 _*ding-ding*_

"Oh-no!"

 _(Zorua looked confused)_

Okay, so why is _Misty_ the one Toadettegirl2012 hates?

I mean, a lot of people hate Ash, so she'd be in good company?

Well, Ash is pedaling and pedaling and pedaling!

But the Spearow are. . . still chasing them. . . for some reason. . .

I guess all Spearows are prejudiced against Pikachus.

Or maybe Flying-types just don't like Electric-types?

Then a giant thunderstorm appears to add to the tension,

And maybe act as a Chekhov's Battery for Pikachu.

And Ash is like,

"Get in the ball you stubborn jerk!"

But Pikachu is like,

"(No! And I still arbitrarily hate you if though your're trying to save me from those killer Spearows!)"

"Alright, then I'll just do something that will become a running thing throughout this entire series!"

"(And what's that?)"

"Human shield. . ."

"(Fine, whatever, see if I- wait, what?)"

"OWW-OWW-OWW! OOOH! I'M DYING!"

"(Oh my gosh, I'm a stubborn jerk! I don't mind the stubborn part, I'm still not going in that Pokeball, but I'm a jerk! Well no more! This human is willing to lay his life down for me! And for that, I will become the best friend that he'll ever have in his entire life! _**THUNDER SHOCK!**_ )"

So Pikachu unleashes a huge Thunder Shock that defeats all the Spearow at once!

Oh, and he also fries Misty's bike that Ash stole.

Why does Toadettegirl2012 hate Misty!?

And thus with the destruction of Misty's bike, a running gag with the frequency of a brick joke was born,

which would die in Pokemon Black and White.

And so, Pikachu and Ash finally start their eternal friendship,

They see Ho-Oh flying over them,

And all the fans use that as evidence for the theory that Ash will be ten years old forever,

Completely ignoring the fact that Ash has gotten taller and his voice has gotten deeper over the course of the series.

So that was the first episode of the Pokemon Anime, and all I have to say is. . . .

. . . don't watch the poorly animated original version, watch the _remastered_ version on that debuted on _Pokemon Smash!_ instead!

Meema and daddyare on _Pokemon Smash!_

Well, okay, it's some other Zoroark and Lucario, and a giant Chimchar and Oshawott too, but it's close!

And anyway, how did the writers and animators expect this show to catch on?

Ash is stupid and Pikachu is fat!

It's not like they were trying to show the progression of an immature and ignorant Ash into an awesome and caring Pokemon trainer who saves the world time and time again in order to show kids that anyone can be truly great if they put their mind to it, and the slow and gradual weight loss and increase in physical fitness, agility, and strength of Pikachu was their way of showing kids that it takes time and effort to be physical fit and it isn't something that you can obtain by going on a 3 week diet or by taking a pill and that all that work is worth it in the end.

 _(Zorua was out of breath after his long speech and was nearly hyperventilating after it. He took a few deep breaths and then continued.)_

This is Zorua here, and I was wondering. . .do ya got any Pecha berries?! PLEASE! I really like Pecha berries! Come on, feed a cute little Zorua out, huh? Come on, please!

Come on, didn't you see what I did there? I went back to my original ending gag of asking for Pecha berries to connect to my review of the very first episode! Isn't that worth some Pecha berries?

Oh, and thanks DragonNiro! I love that Baymax plushy! It's so soft and squishy! And the whole family enjoyed those Oran berries! Yummy!

* * *

 ** _Thank You_**

 _(Zoroark here. How can you not like the first episode of a show? . . . well okay, you can if the episode is bad, but this episode was great! It introduced Ash as a naive, innocent, enthusiastic, determined kid who wants to acquire greatness and will also do anything to protect his Pokemon friends! We also got to see Ash's mom, Professor Oak, Gary, Misty, and of course, Pikachu! This was a solid episode that provided a solid beginning for a really fun anime with drama, comedy, heart, and soul. May the Pokemon Anime and Pokemon games live for eternity! **('Z')** )_


	9. XY072: Scary Hospitality!

_And now it's time for_ _ **Zorua Reviews**_ _with Zorua- son of Zoroark._

 _Tonight's Review: **XY072: Scary Hospitality**_

* * *

 ** _(First Person POV)_**

 _ **OH MY GOSH!**_ This is the _scariest_ Pokemon episode I've ever seen in my life!

 _OOOOOOOO! SPOILERS!_

Ash and his friends are stuck in the rain.

. . . Again . . .

And they come across the Scary House!

No, seriously, it's literally called the Scary House.

 _(Zorua looked confused)_

Why would the owner allow that!?

What if he wants to sell it one day? What would the ad say?

"For Sale. Scary House. Obviously haunted. Get horribly murdered in your sleep."

So our heroes go to the house, and they're greeted by a nice, kind, elderly, creepy old man named Lon.

And Clemont is like, "He's a ghost! He's obviously a ghost!"

And Lon is like, "Here are some towels and food I got for you before because I somehow knew you were coming. . ."

"He's a ghost, you morons!"

And Bonnie is like, "Yay! Ghosts who wanna kill us! Fun!"

So Lon is like, "This house is called the Scary House because once upon a time- _SLENDER MEN!_ "

And Ash and Pikachu are like," AHHH!"

And Clemont is like, "AHHH!"

And Serena is like, "AHHH! Hold me Ash!"

And Bonnie is like, "Hooray! Evil eldritch abominations!"

And Lon is like, "Are you that creepy ghost girl from _Ghoul Daze_ or something?"

 _I_ saw the creepy ghost girl once!

Okay, it was in one of Keldeo's reviews, but it still counts!

But then strange spooky things start happening around the house.

Like things moving by themselves.

"Oh, it must be that lost Beauty and the Beast song! _Be Our Sacrifice!_ "

Ash getting molested by his own shadow.

"Huh, that's weird, who invited Cynder the Dragoness - AHHH! COLD!"

Serena gets licked by something.

"AHH! I'd only enjoy this if it were Ash doing it!"

And Clemont gets hoisted up like in a found footage movie!

"AHH! I do believe in spooks! I do believe in spooks! I do, I do, I do, I _DO_!"

But then Clemont uses science to figure out who's behind it.

It's a Gastly, a Haunter, and a Gengar.

 _(Zorua turned around dramatically)_

OF COURSE!

"We would've gotten away with it too if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!"

"Pika-Pika!"

"Oh, and that mangy Pikachu!"

"Dedenne!"

"Oh, and that, uh, Dedenne. Um, yeah, abandon joke. . ."

But then Bonnie disappears!

So Ash and Pikachu are like, "Don't worry, we'll go find her-AHHHHHH!"

So Bonnie is gone. Ash and Pikachu are gone.

And Serena is like, "I'm getting really freaked out, I think we should-AHHHH!"

But Lon is like, "They must be falling through trap doors into the basement."

And Clemont is like, "I'm not even gonna ask why you have trap doors all over your house."

So they go to the basement where they find a sealed door that clearly says "don't open me or you will die."

But they get it open and free their friends.

Hooray!

But then they find Lon's old notebook that says that when Lon was a little boy, he used to hide in the basement because Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar kept scaring him.

But it's okay, because now the four of them are friends thanks to Ash and the gang.

What a happy ending!

Oh yeah, an Lon's a ghost.

. . . .

AHHHHHH!

But it's okay, because it was all just a dream.

Or was it?!

"Ah-ha, so ghost _do_ show up on camera, right Dedenne?"

"(Bonnie, I think you have a problem. . .)"

And thus ends the legend of the Scary House!

"Meowth! That's _wrong_!"

What a happy ending!

"I said that's _wrong!_ Hellooooo!"

. . . Oh, wait, THAT WAS THE SCARIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

And the moral of the story is the next time a ghost tries to invite you into his house, just say:

". . . . . Yes."

I mean, why not? All ghosts are clearly friendly according to this episode.

Unless you're a Shuppet.

Or a Mismagius.

 _I_ met a Shuppet and a Mismagius once!

They were psycho killers!

This is Zorua here, and I was wondering. . . do ya got any Rare Candies?! PLEASE! I really like Rare Candies! Come on, feed a cute little Zorua, huh? Come on, please!

Come on, this is Halloween! The one day you're _supposed_ to give out free candy! Is it because I'm not wearing a costume? Well, fine then! * _whoosh*_ There, now I'm the scariest thing I could think of! Grings Kodai!

Oh, and thanks to everyone who sent me berries for free! Oh, and thank you thestormflamestinger6235! All those berries fed a whole bunch of hungry wild Pokemon during a drought we had! Oh, and I put my new Incinerate move to good use, DisneyWriter, wink-wink!

* * *

 ** _Thank You_**

 _(Zoroark here. This was a fun Halloween episode! Seeing the Scary House ghost story from the games animated was a real treat, and was actually quite creepy. And even though we all knew it was just Ghost-type Pokemon messing around, it still could get creepy at times. And I have to admit that the twist ending caught me off guard. **('Z')** )_


	10. SS033- Lights! Camera! Pika!

_**(Third Person POV)**_

"Hi, everyone!" Zorua said with a wave, "This is gonna be a special episode that's also gonna be my Season Two Finale! Well, actually, I'm still gonna do a Christmas review later, but still, this really _is_ kind of a big deal. So I decided to get someone to co-star with me today! Look, look!"

Standing next to him was Luke's Zorua, Zoey. She waved and said cheerfully, "Hi there! We're watching a movie today!" Zoey then flipped and turned into Pikachu Pop Star. "Pika-Pika!" she cheered.

Zorua flipped as well, and he turned into Super-Pikachu. "Yeah! We're watching _Lightning Fast! Brave and Strong! Super-Pikachu!_ " he cheered.

Zoey flipped back into herself and said, "Come on, Zorua, let's go!"

Zorua flipped back into himself and said, "Oh yeah. You won't believe how fast this movie sold out. I'm serious, we bought our tickets in advance, and this showing sold out in _one hour_!"

Zoey tapped Zorua on the shoulder and said with an impatient pout, "Come on, Zorua! Our seats?"

Zorua gasped, "Oh, right, right! Come on, let's go!"

* * *

Zorua walked into the theater balancing a huge bag of popcorn on his back.

"Zoey got two Berry Juices and went in ahead of me," Zorua said as he looked around through the theater, which was slowly filling with humans and Pokemon alike, "Now, I just gotta find her. . . um. . ."

A Girafarig suddenly appeared and shouted, "Over here, Zorua!" She then turned back into Zoey and disappeared into the audience.

"Nice one, Zoey!" Zorua cheered as he quickly walked over to the spot where Zoey was. It was a spot in the upper right, but still close enough to the center for a nice view.

Zorua put the popcorn down between them and settled down into the seat.

"Alright, this is gonna be fun, I can tell!" Zoey said happily.

Zorua nodded and grinned, "Yeah. Watching a movie with you always makes it even better."

Zoey blushed as she smiled at the floor, and Zorua just chuckled a bit.

"Well, the movie's gonna start soon, so you better turn the camera off quick," Zoey said.

"Right. Okay, everyone, we'll see you later, after the movie," Zorua said.

* * *

 _ **One viewing later. . .**_

* * *

"Alright, so that was THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!" Zorua exclaimed as he and Zoey walked out of the theater.

"Yeah, sure. But really, I liked this movie a lot," Zoey said.

"Wasn't Pikachu Libre so evil! And it wasn't like, _'Ooh, that guy's evil.'_ No, it was like, he was so ridiculously evil and he was just enjoying it and playing up like- like-," Zorua said enthusiastically.

"Like a big hammy bad guy that you can't help but laugh at?" Zoey offered.

"Yeah, yeah! Like a Power Ranger villain! And how about Super Pikachu!?"

"Oh, he was perfect. He wasn't _playing_ a hero. He _was_ a hero! You can tell just by watching him, he's a master in his own right!" Zoey said.

"And you know, I'm glad that no one held the Idiot Hero Ball for too long," Zorua remarked, "I mean, yeah, that guy shows up with a bunch of Ninja Pikachu, scares them, kidnaps the girls. But then they realize that _'Hey, we're an army of Pikachus!'_ And then they help Super Pikachu blast those creeps off!"

"Yeah, teaches a good lesson that sometimes you don't need to rely on a superhero to save the day, and that sometimes it's up to the _people_ to take action to protect their way of life," Zoey said.

Zorua chuckled and said, "Wow, you're really smart and really cute, Zoey."

Zoey smiled and nuzzled Zorua tenderly.

"Heh-heh-heh. Hey, what about the outtakes!" Zorua said brightly.

Zoey gasped and started laughing. "Oh, wow, those were the best. I'm glad you told me to stay for the end credits."

"Best one was Super Pikachu tripping over a rock and KOing himself!" Zorua said.

"I liked seeing Serena messing up her lines!" Zoey giggled.

"Yeah, this movie was so much fun. Even if it _was_ just a commercial for the Cosplay Pikachus in Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire," Zorua commented with a smirk.

"Zorua," Zoey groaned.

"Aww, I'm only kidding," Zorua said with a innocent grin, "Besides, Rock Star and Ph.D were really great support characters who weren't satisfied with just sitting on the sidelines. And Belle and Popstar were real cute damsels in distress. Not as cute asyou, of course, hehehehe."

Zoey sighed and shook her head with a smile, "You are really something, Zorua. . ."

Zorua turned and smiled at the camera, and he said, "Well, that was our take on _Lightning Fast! Brave and Strong! Super-Pikachu!_ Also known as _SS033- Lights! Camera! Pika!_ We both definitely recommend watching it by any means necessary. Catch it on TV, search for it online, look for it on KissCartoon, do whatever it takes to watch this really cute and cool special episode!"

"Are you gonna ask for Pecha Berries now? Or maybe a Cosplay costume?" Zoey asked with a sardonic tilt of her head.

Zorua took a step over to Zoey's side and nuzzled her, saying, "Right now, I don't need anything else."

Zoey blushed, but smiled in spite of herself.

* * *

 _(Zoroark here. This was a really fun movie. It's not often we see Pokemon talk. Pikachu Land was a really nice looking locale, and although the villain's motivations were. . . non-existant, Pikachu Libre was just so entertainingly evil that you could go along with it. As for the actual special itself that this movie was framed it, I have to say that Frank is a good character. At first he seems kinda weird and Pikachu obsessed, but then when we see his kinda tragic backstory, you can't help but understand and really feel for him. This is his life, and I'd say it's a pretty good one. Just like his great movie, which is made better by the help of our heroes! Well, this Season was a lot of fun. I think I enjoy it as much as Zorua! See you next Season **('Z)** )_

* * *

 _ **IT'S NOT OVER YET! STAY TUNED FOR THE CHRISTMAS REVIEW!**_


	11. XY059: Under the Pledging Tree!

_(We see Zorua resting comfortably beneath a Pecha Berry tree decorated like a Christmas tree. The tune "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" is playing in the background.)_

Greetings, my friends, and welcome to a "Zorua Christmas Review."

* * *

 ** _Zorua Christmas Review_**

* * *

Today, we're going to look at a the episode _Under the Pledging Tree._

* * *

 _ **XY059: Under the Pledging Tree!**_

* * *

There's this city, called Coumarine, and it's celebrating the Pledging Tree Festival. . .

. . . . .

IT'S CHRISTMAS!

JUST CALL IT CHRISTMAS!

THAT'S WHAT IT IS!

There's bells ringing.

There's twinkling lights.

There's a big decorated tree with presents underneath it.

It's Christmas!

Well, actually, there is a difference.

Only the Pokemon get presents.

. . . .

I'm good with that!

So while Bonnie watches all the Pokemon, everyone else goes shopping.

Well, except for Clemont. He has to try to build something that won't blow up after you turn it on.

So Serena tries to turn it into a date, but Ash _no know wha romance is,_ and decides to go looking for gifts by himself.

Now if Iris were here, we'd have a whole different story.

So Serena finds her gifts, but Ash couldn't find anything.

But he wins some blue ribbon for being the millionth monorail rider. . .which is a really lame prize.

But then Serena just tells Ash to get his Pokemon something he would like because they're so similar to him. . .

. . .Uh. . . I don't know. I mean, maybe Pikachu is similar to Ash, but I don't think Goomy or Hawlucha are _that much_ like Ash.

So Ash goes to get his gift, and sees a Dunsparce, once again reminding us how different this story would have gone if Iris had been there.

So everyone goes to the tree to give the presents, but then Team Rocket shows up to steal Christmas.

You're mean ones, Team Rocket!

But then they get sent blasting off again.

At least it wasn't Santa Claus who did it this time.

SANTA CLAUS BLOWS PEOPLE UP! AHHHHH!

So Serena gives Fennekin a ribbon and Pancham some sunglasses.

Bonnie gives the Pokemon a crayon drawing.

And we get a Christmas miracle when Clemont makes a music box THAT DOESN'T BLOW UP!

A MIRACLE! A MIRACLE!

And Ash gives his Pokemon a HUGE pile of berries!

Aw man, they hit the jackpot! I've been doing it the hard way!

And then we get a happy ending for Team Rocket when Jessie and James give gifts to Meowth, Wobbuffet, Inkay, and Pumpkaboo as well!

AWWWWWWW!

But wait! There's more!

Ash gives Serena the ribbon he won!

And Serena's mom sends her a new dress!

Oh my gosh! Serena's a Pokemon!

. . . .either that or she broke the rules!

But this episode was still better than Holiday Hi-Jynx, so it's fine.

I liked it much better than the evil Santa the blows people up with his Jynx.

SANTA CLAUS BLEW UP TEAM ROCKET! AHHHHH!

This is Zorua son of Zoroark saying. . . .DON'T GO AWAY, CHRISTMAS! I LIKE PLAYING IN THE SNOW!

* * *

 _Thank you_

 _(Zoroark here. Seriously, this was a GREAT Christmas Special. It was entertaining, fun, cute, and expressed the true meaning of Christmas very well. Even Team Rocket had a touching moment. Serena's one sided romance seemed a little pointless, but it's easily ignored. Serena seemed to try to dominate this episode, especially at the ending. But it didn't ruin the episode or anything. Seeing everyone connect with their Pokemon was very sweet. This was really nice episode, and I'd like to see this every Christmas. Gotta love the sounds and visuals too. Merry Christmas! **('Z')** )_


End file.
